welcome to 2dprinters magical wizarding wonders workshoppe... where we wmake wizarding wstuff... FOR YOU!
$6,500CDN
Taiwanese Firework Factory. Can fit probably like 350 employees in if you shove them in like sardines. If you own this you already don't care about any sort of human rights violations so who cares? What are they going to do, quit?
ORIGINS
>Taiwan.
>If you mean more specifically, it was a white elephant gift. As in the original type of white elephant where they would gift an emperor a sacred elephant, not where your coworkers give you some shitty fucking mug goddamn it
EFFECTS AND USES
>Great for the local rivers. I don't know
>Friends call you an asshole for owning the damn place because "ooohh ohhh veterans and dogs don't like them!!!!!!" even though honestly they can cry about it because if they had to deal with this they'd go back to the jungle willingly
>I guess if you like fireworks you can make use of this?
>Don't get me wrong I love fireworks
>But a fucking factory?
-0.5% fish in the local river per day
+10 extra "so how's that taiwanese firework factory coming along LOL" messages from your stupid douchebag friends I fucking hate you all
+25% severity of suicidal thoughts per day, additive. You won't actually do it because mom would be sad but you'll really want to. Need to, actually.
+GUARANTEED to give recipient (or you) a big fucking headache
NICE WARM MEAL
anyway i found this wedsite and i was intersted in it i was thinking of my self Wow.. this is some real CRAZY stuff!!! it was really really really funny i couldnt stop laughighg i sent it to all ym friends and critters and it was really good time i will be true to you. i wanted it to make one all for myself so i put in the password as "opensesame123" and it acutually worked. but i dont understand how to make it work and imrally hungry. i aeat a lot of food so i think its a equivelent exchainge.
ORIGINS
>geosites i thought it closed down apparently not? i guess youtube bought it
>pleasee im so...
EFFECTS AND USES
>it doesnt reaally do anything you can just have fun with it i guess...
+chicken fried rice (the one with the egg and onion and celery in it)
+6 chicken egg roll (the one with the cabbage in it)
+low main noodles make sure it has the green onions in it and sesame seed please
+i dont remeber if they have drinks but i cant have cafeen so whatever doesnt NOT have that.
+1 fortune cookie this is non negotibble i need the lucky numbers for something.
+dont worry i will eat it all it is good to put in the fridge or just leave on the counter overnight honestly... if you put it in the fridge it gets kind ogf crispy for the fried rice bgut everything else can go in i keep the fried rice OUT and eat it later.
+4,520% daily "sodeum" apparently
$63.53CDN+TAX+TIP
MDMA, HONESTLY
I COULD LIE TO YOU BUT I WON'T. INSTEAD OF GOING THROUGH THE EFFORT OF YOU TRASNFERRING ME SOME BACKALLEY BULLSHIT CRYPTO BECAUSE "ETHERIUM IS TOO HARD TO GET" (WHAT) AND I HAVE TO CONVERT IT BACK INTO SOMETHING ACTUALLY FUCKING USABLE AND THEN TUMBLE THE THINGS I JUST WON'T WASTE MY TIME DOING THAT. JUST GET THAT SHIT IN A BUBBLE MAILER AND TRUST ME I WILL KNOW IF YOU LACED IT I HAVE PSYCHO SENSES FOR THAT SO DON'T EVEN TRY ME YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M CAPABLE OF. IMAGINE WHAT A FACEBOOK TOUGH GUY WHO POSTS SKELETONS RIDING MOTORCYCLES THINK THEY ARE LIKE AND THAT'S WHAT I ACTUALLY AM. WE CAN DISCUSS LAST TIME WAS BAD ENOUGH JESUS CHRIST.
ORIGINS
SOME SITE DON'T KNOW DON'T CARE IT LOOKS LIKE ME THOUGH SO IF YOU'RE BUYING IT BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU SEND ME YOUR FACE BECAUSE I HAVE A VERY VERY GOOD USE FOR A DOPPELGANGER THAT I CAN PAY YOU FOR. NO IT IS NOT SEXUAL. LAST TIME WAS BAD ENOUGH JESUS CHRIST.
EFFECTS AND USES
>LITERALLY NOTHING IT'S A PICTURE. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE BUYING
>COULD PUT IT IN YOUR DIGIHOUSE. I MEAN THERE'S A LOT OF OTHER DIGITAL ASSETS YOU COULD PUT UP BUT IF YOU WANT SOME STUPID SHIT GO AHEAD BUY IT FOR THAT REASON I GUESS
>100% OWNERSHIP I WANT LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO WITH IT
>IF YOU'RE A GOOD SPORT WE CAN DO THE MDMA TOGETHER
±KIND OF A RISKY BUY I KNOW
+COULD LEAD TO A FLOURISHING RELATIONSHIP IF YOU'RE CHILL LIKE THAT
+4.7% CHANCE OF US LOOKING THE SAME BY MY CALCULATIONS
THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SHOPPING... we have sold out of these...
LIKE, A FIVER
Completely average dice. Transparent and pretty, probably from some board game.
ORIGINS
> The junk drawer of that cool friend you have that you secretly wish you could look through the entire drawer, but that's kind of weird to ask because if someone did that to you, you'd stand there really uncomfortably so you don't ask. But, like, they just randomly offered it to you now and just knowing it's from THE drawer is kind of tempting, even though it's, what, $1.25 per die? I can get 100pcs off Aliexpress for $13 - but it's on sale, so it's $2, which is insane. They even have the cool transparent ones and everything. What the fuck are you doing? Do you think I'm stupid or something?
EFFECTS AND USES
>1/6 of the time it rolls the number you want, every time.
>Can put it on your desk with all your other knickknacks and shit
>Can bring it to D&D. We both know you don't play it because A: that requires interacting with people who are probably complete fucking weirdos (source not needed) and B: last time you played it was really awkward, not what you hoped and not fun so you're not doing that again.
>Okay scratch that these are beyond fucking useless.
0% usefulness
+25% coolness to pockets when held
+100% weapon shock factor when thrown at enemies
YOU TO TAKE IT
i was going outside and i went to the thrift store they had like FIFTHY of thsese. i have never seen them it was flashing whispering saying weird tings in my ears. it kind of hurt i reallt dont like it i bought it and thought it would stop but it didnt but its really pretty maybe you want it just not me its not for me. its ourple and i wanted a blue one but someone put all the blue ones in they're cart i was sad but its ok. i can trade my purle one if you have a blue one because the blue one were saying really nice things when i looked at it it sounded nice but idk i dont like hte pubple one.
ORIGINS
>thrift store down the street by the dairy queen
>sticker on bottom says "china" but i lifted that sticker and it says taiwan? idk where that is
EFFECTS AND USES
>whispers things to you
>pupple
+whispering and twinkling sounds come from it (subjective?)
+kind of creeps me out? (subjective?)
+really sparkly strong (objective)
+idk what else it does it just looks cool i want the blue one. it doesnt whisper to me
17 FINE HUSKY PELTS
FITS TIGHT ON YOUR FINGER. ALMOST TOO TIGHT. IT DOESN'T CUT OFF YOUR CIRCULATION OR ANYTHING IN FACT IT KIND OF MAKES IT FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TOO MUCH BLOOD IN YOUR BODY OR SOMETHING BUT GOD FUCKING DAMN IF IT ISN'T SPARKLY. DON'T GET ME WRONG IT'S GORGEOUS AND PROBABLY LIKE 15,000,000CT GOLD OR SOME SHIT BUT I DON'T WANT IT. PLEASE TAKE IT. I WOULD GIVE IT AWAY FOR FREE BUT I THINK THE PELTS ARE AN EQUAL TRADE AND I CAN GET SOMETHING I WANT WHILE YOU CAN GET SOMETHING YOU WANT. TAKING OFFERS ON EQUIVALENT TRADES. PLEASE FUCKING TAKE IT I NEED IT OFF MY HANDS BOTH METAPHORICALLY AND LITERALLY HAHAHAHAH NO SERIOUSLY.
ORIGINS
BOX UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS THAT I FOUND WHILE SMASHING THE DRYWALL WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER TRYING TO FIND THE MONEY I HID (THE COCKROACHES ATE IT IF YOU EVEN CARE)
EFFECTS AND USES
>CUTE I GUESS
>GIVE IT TO YOUR WIFE OR HUSBAND IF YOU HATE THEM
>NOT IN A BOOMER "I HATE MY WIFE LOL" WAY JUST IF YOU'RE TRAPPED OR SOMETHING YOU KNOW
>COULD GET IT UNCURSED IF YOU'RE ESPECIALLY SKILLED AT DARK ARTS AND CHARMS (I AM NOT)
±WILL PROBABLY KILL YOU IN 15 DAYS FROM WEARING
+SKIN SLOWLY CHANGES COLOR TO SAPPHIRE BLUE OVER THE COURSE OF 15 DAYS
+100% CHANCE OF TURNING INTO A GEMSTONE
+100% CHANCE OF HURTING THE ENTIRE TIME YOU'RE CONVERTING
0.012ETH
You're hungover, tired, and hungry; but more importantly, thirsty. To quench thine great thirst, you head to the minifridge to drink The Apple Juice. Unfortunately, you forgot to buy The Apple Juice, but had you bought The Apple Juice, you could drink it, realize it's lukewarm piss, and spit it all over the hotel carpet.
ORIGINS
> Bladder.
EFFECTS AND USES
>Guy you're in the hotel with will be mad that you drank it because he was saving it for later.
>Like okay I'm thirsty I'm gonna drink from the fucking apple juice container that was in the minifridge
>and EARLIER THAT NIGHT IT WAS REGULAR JUICE so I don't know HOW you drank the entire 2L container in the span of what, 4 hours I was asleep?
>Why did you pee back into the same fucking bottle and why was it THE SAME COLOR? Shouldn't you be hydrated you stupid fuck?
+75% annoyance (inflicted on drinker)
-100% attractiveness for "whatever dumbass pissed in the fucking bottle" fuck you
1 SLOPPY/5PCS
chew on them. some of them are shaped like food but its not real food and dont swallow but it feels nice skueaking against your teeth. i have an impacted colon from these but dont ask why i dont like talking about it. comes in animal shapes and objects too but i think the food ones are the best or the little kitty ones. ranibows in product photo are good too
ORIGINS
>6lb plastic tub i have under my bed
>stolen from scholastic book fairs
>"borrowed" from peers
EFFECTS AND USES
>fun to look at
>make me smile
-1ng/s cortisol upon contact with mucosal membranes
+10ng oxytocin upon eye contact
+10% chance to develop pica for 1 hour after prolonged gazing
YOUR FIRSTBORN
REAL NICE MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD. DON'T NEED FIRSTBORN FOR ADRENOCHROME YOU JUST MAKE ANOTHER ONE. THIS SHIT FUCKS AND MAKES YOU FUCK. HOLY SHIT
ORIGINS
SOME FUCKING APARTMENT IN CANADA I DON'T EVEN KNOW I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS HOW FAR DOWN THE CHAIN THIS SHIT IS
EFFECTS AND USES
>CUM BUCKETS
+FEEL EVERYTHING
+EVERYTHING
